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Is Your Relationship Toxic? Or Touching a Wound? In this episode, I sit down for a deeply honest and meaningful conversation about relationships with expert Jonathan Van Viegen.
We explore how identity wounds, nervous system responses, and past experiences shape the way we show up in connection, con
Länge: 48:48
In this episode, I sit down for a deeply honest and meaningful conversation about relationships with expert Jonathan Van Viegen.
We explore how identity wounds, nervous system responses, and past experiences shape the way we show up in connection, conflict, and intimacy.
Because the truth is…
Most relationship struggles aren’t about communication.They’re about safety.
1. Identity Wounds Shape How You Love
One of the most powerful concepts we explore is this:
You don’t just bring your personality into a relationship — you bring your wounds.
These are the quiet beliefs formed early in life:
I’m not enough
I’m too much
I’ll be abandoned
I’m not chosen
And without realizing it, these beliefs influence:
how you react
how you communicate
how you receive love
2. Why Conflict Feels So Intense
Conflict isn’t just about the moment.
It’s about what your nervous system perceives is happening.
A simple disagreement can feel like:
rejection
abandonment
disconnection
Which is why you might:
shut down
get defensive
avoid
or escalate
Not because something is wrong with you…but because your body is trying to protect you.
3. Separate the Person from the Behavior
A powerful shift that can change everything:
What someone does is not who they are.
When we attack the person, we create defensiveness.When we address the behavior, we create safety.
This sounds like:
“I didn’t like what happened, but I still care about you.”
That’s how connection stays intact — even during conflict.
4. Emotional Safety Changes Everything
Real regulation doesn’t just come from what you do alone.
It also comes from feeling safe with someone else.
When you feel:
accepted
chosen
valued
Your nervous system softens.
And when that happens…connection becomes easier, and intimacy becomes natural.
5. Chosen and Cherished — Every Day
One of the most powerful reminders in this episode:
People want to feel chosen and cherished.
Not occasionally.Not when it’s convenient.
But consistently.
Because when someone feels that way, they:
open their heart
stay connected
feel secure
6. Asking for What You Need Is Vulnerability
Many people struggle to express their needs because of:
shame
fear
feeling like they’re “too much”
But your needs are not weaknesses.
They’re part of being human.
When you can say:
“This is what I need”
You create the opportunity for deeper connection.
7. Intimacy Is a Byproduct of Safety
Intimacy isn’t something you force.
It’s something that naturally happens when there is:
emotional safety
trust
openness
People don’t just want to be loved…they want to feel deeply valued and seen.
Work with Jonathan:
www.jonathanvanviegen.com/
www.instagram.com/jonathanvanviegen
www.youtube.com/@jonathanvanviegen
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GUID: 53deccf6-a283-4dbc-8dd3-c79630714675
Erscheinungsdatum: 11.5.2026, 19:12:06
